Political dictionary

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Political Dictionary

Here is a list of terms that are used by political idealogues that differ from or contradict their actual meanings.


Socialism

  • Right Wing: Socialism is when the government does stuff I don't like. The more it does that I hate, the more socialist it is.
  • Left Wing: Socialism is when the government does stuff I like. The more it does I like, the more socialist it is.
  • Actual definition for sane people: The common or state ownership of the means of production.

Capitalism

  • Right Wing: A free market economic system that is perfect and never does anything wrong.
  • Left Wing: The root of all evil and a mechanism used by the rich and powerful to subjucate the poor and weak.
  • Actual definition for sane people: An amoral economic system that allows for enterprise, trade, and industry to be controlled by private actors; allowing businesses to accrue and keep their capital/profit while having political implications.

Profit

  • Right Wing: The only thing that drives people to do business.
  • Left Wing: Ok when a worker does it, magically not ok when a business does it. Also all the money a company brings in.
  • Actual definition for sane people: Any surplus revenue after obligations are met.

Revenue

  • Right Wing: Some tax thingie.
  • Left Wing: What the fuck is revenue?
  • Actual Definition for sane people: Total declared income of an entity for a given period.

Market Failure

  • Right Wing: What the fuck is a market failure?
  • Left Wing: Markets are bad except when we make sure companies can't do that evil profit thing and need to support some kind of economic system that works because command/planned economies don't work at all.
  • Actual Definition for sane people: Market distortions leading to the improper or skewed distribution of goods and services in a free market.

Exploitation

  • Right Wing: Everything a union does.
  • Left Wing: Everything a business does.
  • Actual Definition for sane people: To make use of meanly or unfairly for one's own advantage.