Difference between revisions of "Game Development Sins"
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Too bad hell doesn't exist and [[god|god is imaginary]]. | Too bad hell doesn't exist and [[god|god is imaginary]]. | ||
| − | + | * Unskippable cutscenes | |
| − | + | * Escorting jogging NPCs. | |
=== Call of Duty Mines === | === Call of Duty Mines === | ||
| Line 15: | Line 15: | ||
You and your team have been bought by Activision to develop the same recycled horseshit year after year to sate the unwashed, unthinking masses. | You and your team have been bought by Activision to develop the same recycled horseshit year after year to sate the unwashed, unthinking masses. | ||
| − | + | * Escort Quests. Escorting NPCs to safety. I **hate** working for free and babysitting your shitty AI is no exception. | |
| − | + | * "Sprinting". If I can power walk IRL as fast as my character can sprint, your game doesn't respect my fucking time. | |
=== Exile to Alabama === | === Exile to Alabama === | ||
| Line 22: | Line 22: | ||
You are unworthy of spending the rest of your days among innocent people. You are sentenced to exile in Alabama, where thumbs are for those who win the genetic lottery and basic cable is unheard of. | You are unworthy of spending the rest of your days among innocent people. You are sentenced to exile in Alabama, where thumbs are for those who win the genetic lottery and basic cable is unheard of. | ||
| − | + | * Jogging NPCs. NPCs that are faster than your walk speed, but slower than your run speed. | |
=== North Korean Vacation === | === North Korean Vacation === | ||
| Line 28: | Line 28: | ||
North Korea is **best** Korea. Pay your respects to the dear leader or there will be trouble. Don't feed the locals. | North Korea is **best** Korea. Pay your respects to the dear leader or there will be trouble. Don't feed the locals. | ||
| − | + | * Physics Puzzles | |
| − | + | * Short stamina: Stamina that depletes in under 7 seconds. | |
Revision as of 03:22, 26 July 2021
Game Developer Sins
This is a list of sins committed by game developers and the appropriate punishment for such sins.
ETERNAL DAMNATION
The most heinous of sins earn you a trip to hell where you will suffer for eternity in lakes of fire. Too bad hell doesn't exist and god is imaginary.
- Unskippable cutscenes
- Escorting jogging NPCs.
Call of Duty Mines
You and your team have been bought by Activision to develop the same recycled horseshit year after year to sate the unwashed, unthinking masses.
- Escort Quests. Escorting NPCs to safety. I **hate** working for free and babysitting your shitty AI is no exception.
- "Sprinting". If I can power walk IRL as fast as my character can sprint, your game doesn't respect my fucking time.
Exile to Alabama
You are unworthy of spending the rest of your days among innocent people. You are sentenced to exile in Alabama, where thumbs are for those who win the genetic lottery and basic cable is unheard of.
- Jogging NPCs. NPCs that are faster than your walk speed, but slower than your run speed.
North Korean Vacation
North Korea is **best** Korea. Pay your respects to the dear leader or there will be trouble. Don't feed the locals.
- Physics Puzzles
- Short stamina: Stamina that depletes in under 7 seconds.